Are you sick of getting sand in your bathers at the beach? Got linty jeans? Don’t know how to eat a chicken wing in public? Bendy elbows getting you down? Does your face look all shit in the mirror? Or are you just really sick of spoons?

Sam Simmons has all the answers for you.

Simmons is one of the most daring and unconventional comics in Australia, completely original and vastly absurd, with one foot firmly planted in the soils of reality, and the other rooted deep in a determination to redefine silliness.

Here are 26 life hacks to make your life infinitely better and, if you’re lucky, to inevitably question your own self-worth.